can it get any better?

hun,
this weekend was magical. Simply magical. When I asked you to write an entry about this weekend. That word was probably the only thing I wanted to say about it all.

When you came to pick me up and I was walking back to meet you at the gas station, I knew I made the right choice for us. Mostly, I wanted to be there for you because you had claimed that your mom would appreciate the 'help' and also I knew you were aching to see me after our little scare. I admit I really wanted to work out the details at home to come and see you. It was nice, I had my books to read on the bus, because I had nothing to look out the window for. I hid my shirt and my scarf (the one you so blindly but lovingly bought for me) in my backpack all ready for a good weekend. And it was.

You were dazed, but you were happy and excited to see me. That would be the first of the many 'excited' feelings I was aware of. You were definitely excited alot this weekend. I hope you can recover. :)

Anyway, it was off to Tim Horton's as expected, and it seemed right off the bat, I knew that your mom was gonna be annoying again. She quipped about your 'long' order and that made me feel unimpressed. Here's your daughter in pain and trying to recover from something and you'd complain about the mundaneity of a complex order. Sure, if only if life were so simple for an adult!

But then I think it was really amazing when we finally got to bed. Probably one of your favourite places to be with me, until at least you discovered another one later during my visit. I admit I was anticipating and it didn't disappoint. We got to snuggle, and I think I said 'snuggly-wuggly'. You kissed me like you said you would, and I tried not to kill you from the pain. It was such a sensual experience having to harness our passion and our love into gentle, unpainful kisses. But overall we cuddled and just held each other.

Soon, after some sort of queue, we decided to talk for another two to three hours after your mom and norm went to bed. We talked about alot of very personal and expressive things, which I brought up because I had just finished reading your diary that you sent to me. I wanted to be fair by letting you ask about something you wanted to know about me most. Then I asked about what I wanted to hear from you in reaction to things I read in your diary. I told you why I wanted to know, and basically I didn't want to take something from you without conscious consent. I said I wanted us to share all our relationship in every way. Sharing. Another word that could powerfully describing our weekend, if not ideally, our whole relationship. We share lots of things. Thoughts, ideas, pains, and a moo-latte.

I think it felt more powerfully aware for me that I wanted to make sure we shared everything, and that included your pain, physically and mentally. You had worries and you had a constant reminder of pain in your mouth. I think I embraced it with you by holding you and consoling you and by just doing anything that could help you transfer that pain away from you and into me to be dissolved, like salt in the ocean. (If you didn't get that part, ocean symbolizes something so big, salt is nothing compared to it, hence salt is pain) Yeah, sorry I didn't mean to ruin the symbolism for you.

We went to sleep and surprisingly woke up quite early. It was nice and bright outside, a perfect morning wake up call. You gave me a treat, the same one you gave the night before. It was great and you said you weren't any good at making the treat. Soon after, we decided to make Sunday morning breakfast. It was awesome. We cooked together, although I know you felt like I was taking over. I really wasn't. We were making breakfast together. It was shared.

So then after church (see how I skipped church? yeah, it was that boring, like you admitted to me), I started making references to faith. Yeah, I thought that sermon was ok, at least the subject matter seemed appropriate. I reminded us that faith could be one of our strengthening tools. But like you know, a damper was put on that day, as it would naturally be, Man United could only pull a frustrating draw against Reading, and having to lose Rooney to injury.

Well after, we napped, our early morning caught up to us, while your mom and norm watched the dumb movie they were subjecting themselves to. Then we went to dairy queen to ultimately share a moo-latte. You really liked it, despite your premature opinion that you wouldn't like it. Oh well! You had a caramel one at dinner. Yum. I remember tasting a bit of it when we kissed at some point during that night. So then, Joellen came over and you really liked having her back. She at least seemed to enjoy having you back. I was quiet, not sure why. I think I was mostly tired, and second, I had nothing to say. Then after everyone went to bed, we enjoyed some more cuddling. I remember saying 'Let's just cuddle for now and ... later'.

Monday morning was just a good sleep-in, one of many I'm sure we can have in our lifetime. It seemed a perfect closing to a magical weekend. Magical. We could only stare and caress each other in just the right way. You gave me two amazing massages. I remember thinking, wow, she's been practicing. (... on who, I wonder?). It was really good and made me feel better and relaxed. There's more to say, but I think you'd have covered it, or we'll just share it at a later date.

All in all, hun, I wanted to help you get better and recover painlessly from your surgery. Give you some respite from the struggles you sometimes face at home. And build on our strong relationship with each other in preparation for a long-term future. It was something magical we shared this weekend. Despite annoying or frustrating moments, I will remember most the detailed care we gave to each other and the gentle bliss that was brought.

I love you, hun. I know I say it too much, but I do love you.